Pen in Motion

Favorite quotes from Archipelago by David Jacobsen

“I believe that every time I put a word down with the intention of making something to last, whether a story or novel or essay, I am inside a moment in which I better be attempting to wrestle with a matter of life and death.”

“I believe even the sheer act of writing is a matter of life and death, that if I am not here in my place and writing, that I am not seeking with the means I have been given – an ability with the written word – to find meaning that will matter.”

“…where I am sitting when I write is the sacred beginning of any attempt to make concrete via words those matters of life and death the worlds inside my own books seek to explore.”

“…I want to remember why I am here, and why this whole writing thing deserves my deepest attention, and my innermost focus.”

“Words and what they can do are important, because in the beginning was the Word.”

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I am finding my place again and remembering the importance of being where I am now, writing and creating and telling the story that I was born to tell.

And when I am not writing, not working on the story, I am away from the world I have fallen in love with and I miss it. I miss her, my sweet Jaelith, and I am only biding my time until I can return to a world as real as the place where I live and breathe. I like to think that she also misses my company – that they all miss me and will not continue with their lives until I am back and in my place.

Find your place, wherever it is and whatever you are meant to do. Find your place and refuse to be moved from it.

Naps can be tricky. Sometimes they help because they allow the body and rest and rejuvenate, and sometimes they just make you groggy and lethargic for the rest of the day/evening. And sometimes, they help wake you up.

I live in the Houston area, and most of the country has probably heard something about Hurricane Harvey. I was blessed to not have been one of the thousands of people who was flooded, and I have spent the past several days volunteering at my church and helping provide supplies and hot meals to people affected by the storm.

Yay volunteering, yes? Sure. As can be expected, there was so much work to do and not ever enough people to do it. And the lunch/dinner times were completely hectic. And I ended up physical and mentally exhausted and stressed, and most of the stress was my doing because I let all of the little things that happened become personal.

And while helping out is a great thing, I put aside work important to me and forgot everything else so I could wear myself out several hours a day and several days in a row. Basically, I got lost.

This evening, as I was attempting to return to the church to help with dinner, my body changed my plans and demanded rest – i.e. I almost fell asleep in the drive-thru at McDonald’s. So I went home and napped. And almost 3 hours later, I woke up. A lot.

Maybe the book I am writing isn’t important to anyone else, but it’s important to me. Maybe it seems more worthwhile to throw all of my time into volunteering, because it’s just this writing thing I do, right? (I do also work as a writer and am paid for it).

I’ve been thinking a lot about the story of Martha in the bible, when she complained to Jesus about her sister not helping her. I was looking at that story from one particular perspective (because I am absolutely a Martha), but I suddenly see it differently. She was so lost in the stress of the work at hand that she forgot to balance herself. She forgot to stop and enjoy her guest and dear friend. I lost my balance, and my nap was the thing I needed to wake up and remember that.

Moral? Naps can be good.  And don’t lose balance – everything should have a place in your time table.

For all of my non-girly ways (no heels, little make-up, sci-fi fan, sarcasm aficionado), I still enjoy looking at pretty dresses. Pick an awards show and I used to watch it just to see the dresses. And then I would buy the magazines to look at pages filled with more pretty dresses.

This may not be good to admit, but I pretty much ignore anything to do with the Cannes Film Festival, with the exception of the dress pictures. I may not be overly young (I’m closer to 40 than 35), but I am up on current fashion trends – even if I don’t get them – and I am not shocked by the show of skin. That being said, I was fairly surprised at the dresses I was seeing at Cannes – almost everything was sheer. And a lot of models. I had flipped through more than 30 pictures before I came upon an actual actress.

Back to the dresses: I couldn’t help but feel a little sad and disappointed. What has happened to fashion that sheer dresses over body suits is considered tasteful and glamorous? It’s somewhat reminiscent of the tale of Emperor’s new clothes, but this time around it’s well-known designers trying to convince us that there really is a beautiful dress worth seeing and remembering. Again, showing skin doesn’t shock me. One of my favorite Oscar dresses is Halle Berry’s Elle Saab and it was essentially a sheer bodice with strategically placed embroidered roses. What is the difference in that dress and almost every dress that some model named Bella wore (sheer, split nearly to her waist, backless, or all of the above)? Subtlety and illusion. The idea of “sexy” is no longer left to the imagination, but put on display for all to see – nude panties, nipples, and all.

When did NOT showing your underwear and breasts stop being fashionable? I am probably way behind the times on this rant/concern/diatribe. It’s sad to think that the idea of modesty has been reduced to actually wearing underwear beneath the sheer dress and using pasties. Bella the model (as I will now always call her) told a reporter that she is usually demure on the red carpet; the article then proceeded to show off several dresses from Cannes that the model donned – every single dress was sheer. She attended an after-party in a short black mini dress with black tape (?) over her nipples. Thanks Bella…super classy of you.

I remember a guy friend of mine once telling me about some lingerie he purchased for his girlfriend. It was a black sheer teddy that was cupless, backless, and crotchless. It cost him $65 and he was really proud of it. My response? Just buy her a few feet of black chiffon and tie it around her waist. Boom – another dress for Bella the model.

I was recently introduced to “Game of Thrones” – I am quite late to this party, but I suppose “better late than never” still applies. My reaction to the first episode: “Wow.”

I have repeated that sentiment often throughout the past three seasons. “Game of Thrones” is a show that flaunts the true selfishness of human behavior. Nearly every character is guilty at some point of acting/reacting with only their interests in mind. But just as the author enjoys showcasing such horrible behavior, he is also clearly a fan of demonstrating the cycle of karma. As I complained repeatedly about how horrible Dany’s brother was, my friend simply responded with “Comeuppance.”  And wow, did he ever get some comeuppance. Martin definitely knows how to deliver Karma’s defining judgment.

And this leads me to Theon Greyjoy. Poor Theon – though technically a prisoner of the Starks, he grew up in better conditions and with a more loving family than his own. He refused to let go of his bloated sense of entitlement. Theon wanted power and respect, but the lesson he never learned from Ned Stark was the power of humility and integrity. His initial intentions for be allowed to visit his father were honorable – get ships to help Robb Stark in his fight against the Lannisters. But, like most of us, Theon craved acceptable and respect. He did not recognize that he already had both with the Stark family, but he quickly chose to betray Robb in order to win his father’s approval. That’s bad enough, but Theon took it a step further and attacked the Stark home (and Northern capital) of Winterfell. He even went so far as to fake the death of Robb’s two younger brothers in a desperate attempt to prove he was something that he wasn’t – a leader.

Theon’s reign doesn’t last and he soon finds himself captured and tortured by the son of a Northern ally. Comeuppance, right? Yay karma. Except Theon comes to himself during a brief respite from the torture and confesses to the man he thinks is a friend that he made the wrong choice to betray the Starks. Theon sadly muses that his true father lost his head at King’s Landing (Ned Stark). Theon doesn’t die, but he does endure more torture from the sadistic son, including being disfigured.

Whether we want to admit it or not, most of us can relate to Theon on some level. Do we have that person/persons in our life who we greatly desire acceptance from? Does it haunt us and blind us from seeing the people in our life who already love us just as we are? Have we ever shirked a friend because our new friend or boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t like that person? I have been on both sides of that – I have shied away from people because my significant other preferred so, and I have been betrayed because my friend believed her boyfriend over me. Does she deserve some kind of comeuppance for that? Do I deserve the same for my actions? The answer to both is yes. Yes, we do. But what if we were granted mercy? What if we granted mercy to those who hurt us?

Mercy is not a virtue that makes many appearances on “Game of Thrones.” People are either too selfish or too righteous, but the “right thing” isn’t always the right thing to do. Ned Stark should know that better than anyone. Sometimes people need mercy.