Grand Canyon

I sat on the edge of the cliff

and stared into the abyss,

only it didn’t stare back because

it was too busy moving on.

I could have kept looking down,

but there was nothing

to see except some dirt, rocks,

and a bottomless bottom

that didn’t want any spectators.

Sure there was an end,

but not for a really long time.

So I looked up instead,

and for the first time ever,

I saw the rocks –

gargantuan structures

with layers of red and orange.

I suddenly forgot why

I was on the edge to begin with.

That Guy

Your heart is a weapon

I was an easy target

with those parts of me

that are still

just naïve enough

to want to believe people

instead of questioning

every word,

moment of silence,

stressed syllable,

and broken date.

I wanted to not be jaded,

so I wasn’t with you.

I could say that I learned

my lesson,

but it’s not like I won’t

ever try again.

And I think I had fun,

but I’d have to remember

everything else

about you

to answer that question.

So, no thanks.


I saw the sun finally,
stretching through the clouds –
reaching down to me with all its might
to push back the storm
attempting to usurp control.
Like Kronos and Zeus and that hullabaloo.
And I even felt warmth
as I waited for a hint of light
on my face.
Those somber clouds don’t look
so bad anymore,
with the glimpses of that burning star,
so far from my world,
and yet close enough to part the gloom
and bring me hope.

Things that make me gasp…

Favorite quotes from Archipelago by David Jacobsen

“I believe that every time I put a word down with the intention of making something to last, whether a story or novel or essay, I am inside a moment in which I better be attempting to wrestle with a matter of life and death.”

“I believe even the sheer act of writing is a matter of life and death, that if I am not here in my place and writing, that I am not seeking with the means I have been given – an ability with the written word – to find meaning that will matter.”

“…where I am sitting when I write is the sacred beginning of any attempt to make concrete via words those matters of life and death the worlds inside my own books seek to explore.”

“…I want to remember why I am here, and why this whole writing thing deserves my deepest attention, and my innermost focus.”

“Words and what they can do are important, because in the beginning was the Word.”


I am finding my place again and remembering the importance of being where I am now, writing and creating and telling the story that I was born to tell.

And when I am not writing, not working on the story, I am away from the world I have fallen in love with and I miss it. I miss her, my sweet Jaelith, and I am only biding my time until I can return to a world as real as the place where I live and breathe. I like to think that she also misses my company – that they all miss me and will not continue with their lives until I am back and in my place.

Find your place, wherever it is and whatever you are meant to do. Find your place and refuse to be moved from it.



I saw a tattoo today that reminded me of life –
 supposed to be a tree with branches
reaching up
and roots digging deep underground.
I know the roots are black
for a reason,
but it got me thinking about us,
people and society
and all the darkness we try to hide
where no one can see.
Or maybe we think no one can see it.
We try to show off our light
and keep the darkness below the ground,
you know,
what lies beneath the dirt.
But that’s our roots –
all hurt and black and bruises and stuff
we don’t want to acknowledge.
But maybe we’re hiding less from others
and more from ourselves.
But that’s our roots and we gotta deal with it eventually,
or the dark will eventually show up
in our branches
and block out all that great sunlight.

yay naps

Naps can be tricky. Sometimes they help because they allow the body and rest and rejuvenate, and sometimes they just make you groggy and lethargic for the rest of the day/evening. And sometimes, they help wake you up.

I live in the Houston area, and most of the country has probably heard something about Hurricane Harvey. I was blessed to not have been one of the thousands of people who was flooded, and I have spent the past several days volunteering at my church and helping provide supplies and hot meals to people affected by the storm.

Yay volunteering, yes? Sure. As can be expected, there was so much work to do and not ever enough people to do it. And the lunch/dinner times were completely hectic. And I ended up physical and mentally exhausted and stressed, and most of the stress was my doing because I let all of the little things that happened become personal.

And while helping out is a great thing, I put aside work important to me and forgot everything else so I could wear myself out several hours a day and several days in a row. Basically, I got lost.

This evening, as I was attempting to return to the church to help with dinner, my body changed my plans and demanded rest – i.e. I almost fell asleep in the drive-thru at McDonald’s. So I went home and napped. And almost 3 hours later, I woke up. A lot.

Maybe the book I am writing isn’t important to anyone else, but it’s important to me. Maybe it seems more worthwhile to throw all of my time into volunteering, because it’s just this writing thing I do, right? (I do also work as a writer and am paid for it).

I’ve been thinking a lot about the story of Martha in the bible, when she complained to Jesus about her sister not helping her. I was looking at that story from one particular perspective (because I am absolutely a Martha), but I suddenly see it differently. She was so lost in the stress of the work at hand that she forgot to balance herself. She forgot to stop and enjoy her guest and dear friend. I lost my balance, and my nap was the thing I needed to wake up and remember that.

Moral? Naps can be good.  And don’t lose balance – everything should have a place in your time table.

wolf pack

There we are,
all parts of us,
with our colors showing,
running like our life depended on it.
And maybe that’s how it is.
Maybe every breath and heart beat
and thought depends
on our love of the hunt.
We fix our eyes, bare our teeth,
and life surges like a rainbow,
every shade of passion pushes our steps
until all we know
is the exhilaration of the chase.