who knew “not sheer” was prude-ish?

For all of my non-girly ways (no heels, little make-up, sci-fi fan, sarcasm aficionado), I still enjoy looking at pretty dresses. Pick an awards show and I used to watch it just to see the dresses. And then I would buy the magazines to look at pages filled with more pretty dresses.

This may not be good to admit, but I pretty much ignore anything to do with the Cannes Film Festival, with the exception of the dress pictures. I may not be overly young (I’m closer to 40 than 35), but I am up on current fashion trends – even if I don’t get them – and I am not shocked by the show of skin. That being said, I was fairly surprised at the dresses I was seeing at Cannes – almost everything was sheer. And a lot of models. I had flipped through more than 30 pictures before I came upon an actual actress.

Back to the dresses: I couldn’t help but feel a little sad and disappointed. What has happened to fashion that sheer dresses over body suits is considered tasteful and glamorous? It’s somewhat reminiscent of the tale of Emperor’s new clothes, but this time around it’s well-known designers trying to convince us that there really is a beautiful dress worth seeing and remembering. Again, showing skin doesn’t shock me. One of my favorite Oscar dresses is Halle Berry’s Elle Saab and it was essentially a sheer bodice with strategically placed embroidered roses. What is the difference in that dress and almost every dress that some model named Bella wore (sheer, split nearly to her waist, backless, or all of the above)? Subtlety and illusion. The idea of “sexy” is no longer left to the imagination, but put on display for all to see – nude panties, nipples, and all.

When did NOT showing your underwear and breasts stop being fashionable? I am probably way behind the times on this rant/concern/diatribe. It’s sad to think that the idea of modesty has been reduced to actually wearing underwear beneath the sheer dress and using pasties. Bella the model (as I will now always call her) told a reporter that she is usually demure on the red carpet; the article then proceeded to show off several dresses from Cannes that the model donned – every single dress was sheer. She attended an after-party in a short black mini dress with black tape (?) over her nipples. Thanks Bella…super classy of you.

I remember a guy friend of mine once telling me about some lingerie he purchased for his girlfriend. It was a black sheer teddy that was cupless, backless, and crotchless. It cost him $65 and he was really proud of it. My response? Just buy her a few feet of black chiffon and tie it around her waist. Boom – another dress for Bella the model.

May 24th

I thought about you today,
on this day that belongs to thousands
or millions of other people,
but also you because it’s when you left.
However you want to say it.
You left and now they share the day.
El dia del muerto
what it’s about now for me.
I don’t like to think about your death,
but sometimes it feels like
it’s all I’ve got.
I used to celebrate a birthday,
on that day,
but then the marriage died.
He’s still around and we talk, but it’s different now.
I’m not there to make him
eat birthday cake and open a present.
Another muetro.
Maybe this day is all about the dead.
I want to have more in my head for you than this day –
I want better memories
than how your last breaths sounded,
and how I just wanted
to close my eyes and imagine something else.
And now here we are,
on this day about non-life and I would rather
do anything else
than remember your leaving.
Maybe we can just forget
about this day
and I’ll remember your birthday instead.