May 24th

I thought about you today,
on this day that belongs to thousands
or millions of other people,
but also you because it’s when you left.
Departed.
Passed.
Died.
However you want to say it.
You left and now they share the day.
El dia del muerto
what it’s about now for me.
I don’t like to think about your death,
but sometimes it feels like
it’s all I’ve got.
I used to celebrate a birthday,
on that day,
but then the marriage died.
He’s still around and we talk, but it’s different now.
I’m not there to make him
eat birthday cake and open a present.
Another muetro.
Maybe this day is all about the dead.
I want to have more in my head for you than this day –
I want better memories
than how your last breaths sounded,
and how I just wanted
to close my eyes and imagine something else.
And now here we are,
on this day about non-life and I would rather
do anything else
than remember your leaving.
Maybe we can just forget
about this day
and I’ll remember your birthday instead.

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