I don’t even know how to start, 

or where to start,

or even if starting is the 

thing to do. 

People always say to begin 

at the beginning, 

but I’m still trying to find that first

set or tracks.

I know it sounds like I’m rambling, 

but maybe that’s how we 

work this stuff out. 

Maybe we have to unravel our brain 

to locate all the knots. 

Maybe we need to just pick a direction 

and follow to the bloody end. 

Or rather, 

bloody beginning. 

Sometimes we have to go backwards  

before we can move forward. 

So, where was I?


I’ve never been much for “new year’s resolutions” – I think I tried to make them at one point, but never stuck to it beyond making the list.

Having worked and studied as a writer, I have a new affinity and appreciation for words than I did 20 years ago. The idea of “resolution” carries a different distinction nowadays. Given that it’s the first day of a new year, it’s understandable that I would be thinking about resolutions.

What’s the big deal with resolutions anyway? I know it’s a thing and all, but do we really understand it? Do we even understand the word?

“Resolution” is a noun; The verb form would be “resolve.” Synonyms for resolution include: decision, settlement, verdict, conclusion, proposal.

These are not “light” words; they are not meant to be used as fluff or filler. Think about it – decision, settlement, verdict: what do you think of when you hear these words? Courts and judgments and finality spring to mind, right?

What have we done to the idea of new year’s resolutions to make it more of a joke than a life-changing move?

So, here we are, at the beginning of another year – 364 more days to change. Maybe this will be the year that we resolve, we propose, we conclude, we decide to __________________________.


What’s that I see – 

in the corner of the mirror, 

when I look just right, 

when the lights are turned down low 

and I’m not too busy thinking 

about how complicated my life is these days. 

If I don’t blink or squint, 

I can make it out – 

hunched and twisted, like maybe Rumpelstiltskin 

or some other creature 

lurking in the origins of old fairy tales.  

I can feel it sometimes, 

breathing on my neck, ready to pounce – 

but then, 

when I glance just so 

and don’t turn out all the lights, 

it shrinks back 

just enough, 

until I pass another mirror.

stuff we don’t talk about

Sometimes things happen — 

that’s what we say when it’s too complicated, 

or painful, 

or petty, 

or messy to explain 

and we just want to shrug it off, 

even though 

we know that isn’t happening 

anytime soon. 

Because things happen — 

like when I married the wrong man 

who bullied me 




and never thought he spoke unkindly. 

Or when I let that person 

break my heart over and over 

and over, 

like I’m not china. 

Or when the first of two monsters 

took something from me and left only scars. 

But hey – things happen. 

Yep — things.

Amazing Quotes

These are some of my favorite quotes – a few that stay with me every time I sit down to write, to think about writing, or even just to think. Or even when I am going about my day and thinking about my book. These are words that have made me gasp in delight – so excited at their truth that I want to call everyone in my phone and read it to them.

(1) David Jacobsen

“I believe that every time I put a word down with the intention of making something to last, whether a story or novel or essay, I am inside a moment in which I better be attempting to wrestle with a matter of life and death.”

“I believe even the sheer act of writing is a matter of life and death, that if I am not here in my place and writing, that I am not seeking with the means I have been given – an ability with the written word – to find meaning that will matter.”

“…where I am sitting when I write is the sacred beginning of any attempt to make concrete via words those matters of life and death the worlds inside my own books seek to explore.”

“…I want to remember why I am here, and why this whole writing thing deserves my deepest attention, and my innermost focus.”

“Words and what they can do are important, because in the beginning was the Word.”


Dear old post,
I’m deleting you today –
as in no more,
all gone, gonzo, good-bye forever,
sending you into the abyss
with the others.
You can all commiserate together over
your doomed fate
while you give me the stink eye.
I want to say that it’s nothing personal, but it is.
I don’t want to see you pop up anymore.
No more reminders of memories I want to forget
in the first place.
I know you’re probably judging me,
thinking that I should
“own my words”.
Whoever came up with that jargon
either never said anything regrettable
or has made so many mistakes
that he/she turned bad lemons into worse lemonade.
Misery loves company.
But anywho –
I won’t say thanks because it wasn’t a good time,
then or now.
Enjoy Valhalla, or wherever you end up.


(I think this is recycled from a few years ago, but I still like it)

I’m listening to this song

about the good, bad, and ugly truth.

I guess the truth is all of those

at some point.

I wish I had some good truth

to chew on –

so far, it’s just been bad and ugly.

And it hurts.

People are always sorry when the truth hurts,

but they still dump it on you.

Sometimes they even give

a “truth hurts” quip like it’s supposed to help.

Douche bags.

Yeah, I’m thinking of you right now –

all of you,

and why you ever thought I wanted

your brand of truth.

Maybe you didn’t want to lie,

but the truth wasn’t really necessary either.



There is no end to the hypocrisy of the human heart.

That’s all for now.

(Mic drop?)


Remember way back when,

when it was easy to write and create 

and let stuff flow. 

And then, 

I got distracted by living outside 

of words. 

I left my comfort zone for 




Also, I found love. 

Still got it – 

kind of a record. 

Who knew brown eyes and lots of Cribbage 

could make me forget about 

my other love? 

I found someone who 

got my brain. 

And He he listened about “thou” – 

big deal. 

But I’m inching back 

to words, 

to my pen, 

to the thing I loved 

before I loved 

those big brown eyes. 



I am enough –
all of me,
not just parts,
not pieces that you can pick
and choose
and patch together –
fashion into something
socially acceptable so everyone
will smile with approval.
But nope –
that’s not my bag.
I don’t want to be acceptable anymore.
I don’t want to check off
someone’s list and get a seal of approval.
I want to be me.
Just me.
No additives or fillers.
Nothing artificial to make me look right
for the pictures.
Took a while, but I finally got it figured out –
I’m totally unique and
not made to be in the regular flow.
Because I have my own,
I am enough,
and if you don’t like it,
then you’re out of luck for anything else.
I’m done moving myself
around to fit into everyone – or someone else’s mold.
Been there,
did that enough that I don’t want
any more t-shirts.
I am enough.
Nothing else to say.
Peace out.

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