Reflections are not Always Mirror Images

August 2008 was a life-altering month for me – I enrolled in classes for the first time in ten years. My last experience with college had been at Baylor in 1998 and I was not a very good steward of time or money back then.

I used to joke that I was enrolled at Baylor…didn’t attend, was just enrolled. It seemed less shameful when I was laughing about it. I had turned down an athletic scholarship at the end of my senior year in high school because of fear. That and a boy that turned out to not even like me. I also turned down a scholarship to my mother’s alma mater ORU. AND I squandered two years of free tuition from the state of Texas to any public college or university…this was for being the valedictorian of my high school class. There was so much hope placed before me and I was too selfish and afraid to step out and take it.

Fast forward about ten years – I was thirty years old and going back to school. I had an epiphany in July that if I did not get back in school then, I would be 39 going on 40 and wishing I had done something sooner. I chose to be an English major and re-entered school at a local junior college.

You know what I discovered? For one, I LOVED SCHOOL. I must sound like such a geek/nerd/something for saying that, but my first semester back in school was amazing for me.

I determined to myself before stepping onto that campus that I would not waste any more time or money. I gave myself two goals – (1) to maintain a 4.0 and (2) to graduate summa cum laude. God, as He always does, showed Himself faithful. I never doubted that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I learned a lot more than I thought I would in my Creative Writing class, and I finished my first semester with a 4.0 GPA! I would go on to graduate in 2013 with a BA in writing and a (still) decent 3.9 GPA. I did reach my second goal – I graduated summa cum laude!

I lost so much ground before 2008, but I have realized that it is pointless to dwell on the past. What matters now is that I will not lose any more ground. Last October (2014), I began the first quarter of a graduate writing program to earn a Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing.

My biggest lesson to learn with/about/concerning God has been that I have to trust Him. Refusing to fully trust was keeping my Father from being able to move in my life. I trust that God can, according to His Word, redeem the time that I threw away. I trust that He will continue to provide for my needs, and then some. And I trust that He will not allow me to be overtaken in any circumstance.

It is never too late to begin moving in the right direction. Even if it’s the last hour that you have on this earth, that is still sixty minutes that you can turn yourself around and head for the sun. You have all the time in the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: